Chicago, Illinois
Sex coach in Chicago.
Somatic and Tantric coaching for people who have been fine for a long time. For couples, men and women across Chicago. Sessions held online.
Somatic and Tantric coaching for people who have been fine for a long time. For couples, men and women across Chicago. Sessions held online.
Fine is a real answer. It is just not the same answer as alive.
There is a particular kind of steadiness here. People build long marriages, stay near family, keep their difficulties private, and do not make a production out of struggling. It is genuinely admirable and it makes for durable relationships.
It also means things can go quiet for a very long time before anyone says anything. The couples I work with from Chicago have often been together fifteen or twenty years. Nothing is wrong. Nobody is cruel. They are simply two people who have stopped reaching, and who each privately assumed the other was content with that.
Longevity is not the same as intimacy. Plenty of people manage decades of the first without much of the second.
Most people use intimacy as a polite word for sex. They are not the same thing, and confusing them is why a lot of couples try to fix the wrong problem.
Intimacy is the capacity to be perceived accurately and stay. To let someone see what is actually happening in you without immediately managing their reaction to it. Sex is one place that shows up. It is not the only one, and it is usually not where it broke.
What tends to happen over a long relationship is that both people get very good at a smoothed down version of themselves. Easier to live with. Less friction. And gradually you are sharing a house with someone who has only met the manageable part of you for years, and wondering why it feels lonely.
Somatic work rebuilds the capacity to be present with another person without flattening yourself first. Desire tends to return on its own once that is back, because desire needs someone actually there to want.
Four patterns come up again and again here.
Fifteen years or more, still fond, no longer reaching. Rekindle is built for exactly this.
Steady, decent, providing, and completely unpractised at saying what they need. The work with men.
Everyone else got attended to first, for years, and now the wanting has gone quiet. Somatic work for women.
It is common. That is not the same as inevitable, and it is not the same as permanent.
I am a VITA Certified Sex, Love and Relationship Coach, a Certified Men's Sexuality Coach, a Certified Couple's Tantric Sex Coach, and a Certified Theta Healer. Nine years of practice, more than a hundred workshops and private sessions. In any given hour I am usually drawing on all four of these at once.
Soma means body. Somatic work treats the body as the place where your history is stored rather than a thing you carry your thoughts around in. We work with sensation, breath, movement and attention rather than analysis.
Not what the internet thinks it is. Tantra is a set of practices for staying present with intensity, in the body, without leaving. Most of it has nothing to do with sex. All of it changes sex.
Working at the level of subconscious belief, where the rules you never agreed to are actually kept. Certified through Basic DNA, Advanced DNA, Dig Deeper, Manifesting and Abundance, and You and Your Significant Other.
The fastest route into the nervous system that exists. Breath changes state within minutes, which is why almost every session uses it, and why my group method Soulsation is built entirely from it.
Sessions run 1.5 hours, over private video call, and are always fully clothed. There is no nudity and no touch. The work happens through breath, sensation, voice and attention.
This is the belief I meet most often in the Midwest. That help is for emergencies, and that if nothing has actually gone wrong you should be grateful and get on with it.
Most of the couples I work with are not in crisis. They are good partners who drifted, noticed, and decided to do something about it while it was still a drift rather than a rupture. That is the easiest version of this work and by far the most effective.
Waiting until something breaks is a much harder way to arrive.
I work internationally and see clients across the United States and beyond. Sessions with Chicago clients are held online over private video call, which is how the large majority of my clients anywhere work with me.
Yes, and it surprises people. The body responds to attention, not proximity. There is also something about doing this from your own space, in your own home, that often makes it easier to let go than a clinical room would.
No. Therapy tends to work through talking and analysis. This works through the body and the nervous system, where desire and safety actually live. I am a VITA certified coach and a certified Theta Healer, not a licensed therapist. If what you need is therapy, or therapy alongside this, I will say so.
No. Sessions are always fully clothed, and there is no touch. The work happens through breath, sensation, movement, voice and attention. Everything you learn, you can take into your own bed with your own partner.
That is normal. Very often one person reaches first. Plenty of the work I do starts with one partner and widens later, and plenty of it stays with one person and still changes the relationship.
Session and container pricing sits on the coaching page. The discovery call is free.
A free 30 minute discovery call. No pressure and no commitment. An honest look at where you are and whether this is the right work for you right now.
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